Q.UIET
Sometimes the most caring thing we can do is pause.
Calm, unhurried moments create space for thinking, settling, feeling heard. I try not to create silence for the sake of it, but to bring a sense of connection.
Key Pointers: Quiet means …
…Soften the environment
Reduce background noise when possible (TV, loud conversations, clattering tasks). Avoid competing sounds that can overwhelm or confuse.
…Listen, be present
Show you’re listening through eye contact, nodding, and open body language. Avoid interrupting, finishing sentences, or talking over someone.
…Use soft body language
Calm movements, relaxed posture and still hands. Avoid abrupt gestures or fidgeting, which can increase anxiety.
…Pause before responding
Leave moments of quiet, be still after a person speaks. Avoid filling every gap - silence can so often feel supportive and does not need to be awkward; it becomes calming if you practice pausing. This might seem hard but I’ve worked in, and visited, many nursing and care homes and I believe that taking time to move, speak and respond at a gentle pace can save time. Avoid rushing, multitasking, or appearing in a hurry - urgency can feel threatening and unsafe.
…Gentle volume & minimal Words
Speak softly and only as much as needed. Avoid over-explaining or giving too many instructions - quietness helps information land safely!
Example Situations with Milly:
If I say…
“You keep going on about that?
I've already told you!”
It makes Milly feel… Ashamed, confused, unimportant.
If I say…
“Hurry Up! We'll be late and l've got to help XXX today, not just you!”
It makes Milly feel…Pressure, Overloaded and Panicked.
If I say…
“Leave that alone!
Go back to your chair!
It makes Milly feel… Rejected, like a child.
I could say this
“Now let me think…”
a deep breath and a pause can reduce frustration