A.CCEPTING
When I stop correcting and start accepting, people open up.
Focus on being with the person, where they are, without correcting, arguing or dismissing.
Key Pointers: Be accepting of their…
… Reality
Avoid challenging what they believe or perceive. Instead of “That didn’t happen” or “You’re wrong,” try to understand the feeling behind their words.
… Emotions
It’s important not to minimise, distract from, or dismiss feelings. Acknowledge what they’re expressing, even if you can’t sort out the situation.
… Needs in the Moment
If a request isn’t possible, validate the need behind it before offering an alternative. “You want to go home - I understand and I want you to feel safe. Let me see what I can do.”
…Choices & their Pace
Where possible offer options rather than demands. Let them set the pace, and avoid rushing or taking over unnecessarily.
… Communication & Style
Avoid correcting grammar, memory, or word-finding difficulties.vFocus on connection, not accuracy.
If I say…
“You're already home!
You've lived here for years!”
It can make Milly feel… Disorientated and Dismissed.
Example Situations with Milly:
I could say this…
“Arghh that lovely comfort of Home Sweet Home. I understand that. Tell me, where is the most favourite place you’ve lived?”
If I say…
“Of course you need help!
You can't do that on your own!”
It can make Milly feel… Fearful with a lack of control.
I could say this…
“You are very strong. Just know l'm here to help if I can. So maybe I could ...”
If I say…
“You HAVE to get out of bed. You can't stay here all day. And you're all wet!”
It can make Milly feel… fear and shame, like a problem not a person